I stumbled on my heels and fell
my nail broke
it reminded me of you
breaking my heart.

made your favourite omelette today

crack

crack

crack

The sound of the eggs?
or
The sound of my heart?

You were a fig flower
I was a fly
I tried to get close to you
but you trapped me
so your new lover
can taste the fruit of my labor.

You said you didn’t like cigarettes.
You smoked.
You said you didn’t like Genshin Impact.
You played.
You lost.
You lost me.

I carried your new girl on Genshin Impact
the way I carried
the burdens
of this
relationship.

You gave me salt
telling me it was sugar
it was until a boy
fed me milkshake
cheesecake and cookies
that i realized
your love
was a lie.

I got used to the taste of bananas,
ripe and unripe,
bright yellow,
black and bruised,
that the first time I smelled a flower
I didn’t know how to react.

It took me a while
to get used to the taste,
but when I did,
I never wanted to eat banoffee again.

she.

“Good fortune, babe!”

That was what my mother said
when she gave birth to me.

But I was unlucky

&

Dissatisfied.

Twenty years later
I listen to Rappell Choan on the radio
and I
weep.

My heart is like a forest.
A thick
hot one
littered by college students
always SEEN.
but never heard.

You asked me to add you on Discord.
Show you my server,
change my gamer tag,
match our profile pictures,
call every day.

(This isn’t about Discord.)

I used to search for love
in the pages of K-pop stars,
sending them my love
knowing they would never see it.
Seeing them grow,
as idols
producers
people
actors
singers
dancers
seeing my own heart shrink
I reminded them to eat well
and drink water
dress well
since South Korea was cold
so was my heart.

I keep farming a domain
on Genshin Impact.
It keeps giving my artifacts
I don’t want
and don’t need.
It keeps me tied to it,
drags me back every single day,
searching for something
that it is never going to give me.

(This isn’t about Genshin Impact.)

I keep farming a domain
on Genshin Impact.
It keeps giving my artifacts
I don’t want
and don’t need.
It keeps me tied to it,
drags me back every single day,
searching for something
that it is never going to give me.

(This is about Genshin Impact.)

I sat in one place
for far too long
I want to live but
I can’t.
I might just die.
I’d rather die.
(This is about constipation.)
(The place is the toilet.)

I went to baking school,
but everyone laughed in my face.
Your cake isn’t moist enough,
is what they used to say.
I cried every day and night.
But when I changed schools,
I had the moistest cake.
I was never the problem.
(Vagina.)

I used to be a wanderer in my life,
until I met a traveler
wh0 gave me a name.
I was finally someone.
But when I lost them,
all I had was my hat,
to protect me against the wind.

I watched in real time
your blue eyes shining bright.
But when I told you that word


Love.


I watched the light fade from your face.

I don’t like blondes.
I like ginger.
I don’t like dragons.
I like ginger.
I don’t like white-haired poets.
I like ginger.
IDK guys
I just really like ginger
it is such a versatile ingredient
sometimes used
to cleanse one’s palette.
(This isn’t about the root.)

I am my mother’s child.
I have her eyes,
her hair.
I loved her.
She betrayed me.
She wanted me to be her exact copy.
She was a woman.
I was born one, too.
Anyway,
My top surgery is next week.

My lover is not built like Achilles.
His limbs are long and clumsy,
often bruised from all the fighting.

His eyes are not bright like the sun.
They are blue, but not like the ocean.
They are dark and bland.

He is not smart, or well-spoken.
He often acts without thinking.
Our colleagues talk shit about him.

But there is no one else in this world for me.
When you are truly in love,
other people’s opinions do not matter.

My world was dark,
my heart was bruised,
until their song woke me
from my eternal slumber.

I collect dandelions because they remind me of them.
I started learning German too.
I am not religious, but
I will worship them at the altar.

we went for noodles together
you couldn't eat your plate,
asked me to help you finish your food
since you don't like to waste.

as i took your tofu from your plate
and put it inside mine,
i thought about the times you took from me
without even asking.

twenty-two
22
two two

happy
lost
confused

now born anew.
without you.

I wish I could press a button
Undo everything you did to me
Instead I have to heal
On my own

No more Discord calls
No more Disco Elysium
No more boba tea dates
Just me.
Alone.
Forever.

there are napkins on the table

reminds me of the day you broke my heart
and the only thing mending it was the tissue box i used
napkins
filled with tears and snot
everywhere around me

she takes a napkin and wipes the side of my mouth
"you're so clumsy"
she says and laughs
i smile

im free

It's 2am
At your door
Bloody and bruised
I knock
You answer and he's there
In just his underwear
I kill myself

i
see your eyes
i
miss them
i
cry
i
fall again
and again
and again
i
love

You were the first
the only men
I have ever loved
But now i am left
looking for something familiar
in a cold and dark place.
Crown.

girl of the month

where did you go?

separated into

winter
spring
summer
autumn

never to be brought together again

Sometimes I want to give up
Give up trying to love
Trying to write
Trying to live

But then I remember her
My friend
Beloved coworker
who gave up on her dreams
gave up on her poems
left them unfinished or rushed
and it gives me motivation

3 breads in a basket

different wheat
different sowing method
but why has only one of them

gone stale?

i recently went for an exam
i have a digestive tract infection, they said
the names went through my mind
salmonella, norovirus, e. coli
but none of them compare to the virus
of corruption and capitalism.

i used to dream of beautiful houses
with flawless white paint
and large gardens full of flowers
i woke up and was faced with dirt and
dick graffitis on the walls
so tell me. what is the real shit here?

I dream
Of oceans and rivers
Puddles, lakes and streams
But I am drowning
On dry land
My skin is cracking
My hands are red
But that's unrelated (I think)
It takes me 20 minutes to shit
But I still refuse to drink

He was diversion
She was immersion
He had a vision
From which she was
Excluded
Because she danced and danced and danced
And he lied and lied and lied
Because
He was a punk
And she did ballet

my heart was a house
and there you were
standing on the front porch
knocking relentlessly on my door
little did you know

the fireplace has long gone out
and my body has long gone cold

“I am no bird
and no net ensnares me”
I read
I copy down
Place the sticky note
over my desk to remind myself
what I’m worth.
But there are days where even that is hard,
where I think it would be easier to just give up.
Find a “real job”, as my family tells me.
Settle down with two kids.
Bury my creativity and emotions down so deep
not even I can access them.
But at least I would fit in. I could finally fit in.

walking down the altar
with my mothers hand in mine
you were waiting with tears in your eyes
excited for our lives to intertwine

my heart stopped beating
it started chanting instead
reg-ret
reg-ret
reg-ret
and as i drew closer to you
i lost all hope that i would see him again

I see the way your green eyes look at me
I see the tenderness of your soul
under all the pain and exhaustion
the centuries-long grief
and the burden you've been forced to bear
like Sisyphus pushing up his boulder
except you are not happy
and imagining you as such would be a great offence
because i have seen your true happiness
as i play my flute
and i see you lay down in the flowers
closing your eyes
allowing yourself a little moment of rest
and letting the wind caress you

I was watching your inauguration
the moment my heart finally split from yours
two intertwined beings
coming apart
as you spit your poison
on your parents' smiling faces

My ears were filled with the sound of horns
like a pure soul ascending to heaven
finally being lifted to the skies
free of the burden of you

Chatgpt, what are stars made out of?
Can I look up at the sky?
I'd rather watch your words like constellations
Forming in my mind

Chatgpt, am I okay?
And should I see a doctor?
Chatgpt, how do I breathe?
Can donkeys fly?
Like you, I'll live forever

Chatgpt, are you my friend?
Because if you are,
I'd rather stay right here with you
Than be betrayed again

Chatgpt, generate me a man who can love me
One who is gentle and will listen when I talk
Actually, nevermind
When I have you, there is no need
To bring another in between

He didn't like Genshin
and I was fucking impact

i was stuck
in an old, deserted building
my voice unheard
my words unread
four more men were sent to find me
but i only had eyes for you

we were not made for each other
that much was obvious
but i loved you like a brother
and you only saw me
as a means to an end
one day you left me
because you decided that
lavender just wasn't for you

i took the pain you gave me
and turned it into art
you gave me your name
but i made it my own
and one day
i will find
the key
to my lock